thegirlwithcaramelskin:

the-altar:

grebnesieh:

Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.

Grab her booty in front of women who want you.

That second one means so much.

sushinfood:

dannyboy-to-thedoctor:

rneerkat:

*pulls out bread at wedding* i’d like to make a toast

NO YOU DON’T GET IT 

MY DAD LEGIT DID THIS IN HIS SPEECH

AT HIS OWN WEDDING

it was hidden in his inside-jacket pocket while he made his vows to my mum, and it was so top-secret that his best man had to smuggle in a slice of toast so no one saw it while he was getting ready. 

…HIS OWN FUCKING WEDDING

the dadliest of dads

jakemalik:

if i’m not eating i’m most likely not happy