elijah | 18. college fresh. feel free to talk to me at anytime whether you just want to spark conversation or you need advice.
Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.
Grab her booty in front of women who want you.
That second one means so much.
*pulls out bread at wedding* i’d like to make a toast
NO YOU DON’T GET IT
MY DAD LEGIT DID THIS IN HIS SPEECH
AT HIS OWN WEDDING
it was hidden in his inside-jacket pocket while he made his vows to my mum, and it was so top-secret that his best man had to smuggle in a slice of toast so no one saw it while he was getting ready.
…HIS OWN FUCKING WEDDING
the dadliest of dads
if i’m not eating i’m most likely not happy